With the Cheshire Grin



Momma…(or…Ay, ay, ay, ay)

Ay, Momma, I’m stuck in drama

The trauma dun made me dumber

This mind is steady in flutter

Flummoxin like a motherfucker

Dyin inside…

Chokin on the blood inside…

I guess that must be why

I’m failing when it comes to tryin

No more whining with the “why, why, why”s

The real is just the picture

The picture is just a fixture

I angle the fixture with liquor

Adding it to the scripture

Fleshing it out with pictures

Padding it, make it thicker

It’s a neverending cycle

And I’m sharing it in flickers

Tryin to fill in the fissures

Ay, momma, I ain’t feelin like a victor


Under the influence of depression

I write with deep expression

Wit lead and pen, I’m flexin’

Gifted by trauma and stressin

I get my steps in

I’m lifted, I’m bangin within the moment

Know itI’m only drinkin, cuz I’m sinkin

And I’m metaphorically sinkin, cuz I’m stuck with all this thinkin

Plus, my balance has me blinkinSo, my crooked walkin?

Is cuz these thoughts, they stay knockin

And rockin, so I’m steady talkin

It gets me under fire and gives me the fire

It gets me higher

It’s the balance of a curse and a gift

It gives you rifts, it gives you lifts

Heart on my shoulder, bleedin my wrists

I ink this shit


I think we need greed, I think it balances out that need

I’m talkin bout pushin and pushin past when you bleed

It differs and shows difference when it comes to human breeds

It changes willingness to bleed

It changes how you wish to breathe

How and where you wish to breed

See, depending on need or greed you hittin on different speeds

Sometimes you swervin in the lanes, sometimes you hittin the fuckin trees

Distracted by the chicken in the street

That’s a metaphor, hope you get it, please

Learn from what you’ve seen


Try as I might, I can’t stop this pain

I even close my eyes looking for strength

Mind over mind, trying to force a change

Feeling empty, cold, alone, and late

Nothing is worth it, a wasteful weight

Music is a kiss, darkness is a blanket

Drinks and drugs to feel faded

Distractions from the depression laid in


I’m fuckin wit it, so wit it my vision wicked

The shit acidic, it’s so delicious

Eclipsin sufficient

I’m livin wit no intentions

Of livin in tension

Leanin at a crook-ed attention

And drooling bleedin like I took a beatin

In reality, I’m seethin for anyone want me seated

Cain’t stay still

I’m building hills

I weighed the will

Outweighs the bill

So, out my way, I’m makin waves

My presence is my trade

Impressive impressions left in my days

I’m leavin em in a daze

Faded with abrasions

These letters be so, so brazen


I speak vision, I don’t care if you don’t listen

These letters, I make em glisten

Master of the lines, guess I’m fishing

Speakin words, pushin blizzards

Something of a wizard

Speakin wit some scissors

Razor sharp wit the sentence

No longer wanting repentance

Acceptance of this penance

The writer, the actor, multiple roles in credits



writin from the red hidden in the wrist, yes

be that depressed blessed

suicide wanna press

takin all the breath from the chest

just to stand up like the rest

just to walk like the best

blottin out lines, call life a bullshit test

wit the haema flex

latin wit the text that the world possess

feelin possessed

ever sence i suckled breasts

i’on’t know if that’s correct

this is finger movin, call it foreplay and sex

movin wit a different kinda speed some mistake for less

this the first, the last, the middle , precursor, and next


Shaking, twisting, flexing

No time for resting

Wobbly from speech to texting

Destroying the self, I’m my own worst foe

All the weaknesses? I know

Living to annihilate the competition

A breakdown of composition is the mission

Rebuild in tension, never never testing

Sleeping wit eight lessons

Illiterate to warning signs

Like one is inclined to be blind

Yeah, that type

I know, right

Messages turn to piled messes

Messes turn to burning blessins

Blessins turn to anagrammed messages

A ludicrous cycle of reuse

Knowledge in the fool

Foolish with the truth

Madman floating in the blackened pool


Sinkin in this feeling

Though, I wanna share my peelings

Life shuffling these cards and dealing

So, I’m dealing with the dealings

From floors to the ceilings

Pickin at my meals ands

Separation has got me keelin

But, I’m never over

Shruggin shoulders

Even when I’m lower

Clownin wit the floaters

Mind dirtier than all your boulders

Dappin past the “told yer’s”

Stainin on approach

Mind first-class, body coach


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