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SpacemanTheJinn

With the Cheshire Grin

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me

Momma…(or…Ay, ay, ay, ay)

Ay, Momma, I’m stuck in drama

The trauma dun made me dumber

This mind is steady in flutter

Flummoxin like a motherfucker

Dyin inside…

Chokin on the blood inside…

I guess that must be why

I’m failing when it comes to tryin

No more whining with the “why, why, why”s

The real is just the picture

The picture is just a fixture

I angle the fixture with liquor

Adding it to the scripture

Fleshing it out with pictures

Padding it, make it thicker

It’s a neverending cycle

And I’m sharing it in flickers

Tryin to fill in the fissures

Ay, momma, I ain’t feelin like a victor

WILL YOU?

You’ll remember me

When you reminisce within your dreams

When you hear your friends, your family, askin bout me

When it makes you wanna me scream

When you really, truly, do want me

You’ll remember me

SEE?

You’ll remember me

When I ink or bleed into the scene

It’s all the same thing

I’m shining wit a darker different bling

I’m twitching wit a different blink

Spastic wit a different think

I️ might be something never seen

I’m dark like dirt, melanin that neat

My skin is all I️ see, yet it’s bleedin all on me

So, I️ write within my see

Fuck yo seat, it’s all on g

LUST. FREEDOM. KARMA.

Glitchin in my freedom, guess I’m lost in the lust

I know the shit is wild, but I love to see her blush

From her blush to bust to cuff, all her skin is love

I got nothin but love

But…

…FUCK…

See, my experience been tough…

The shit been rough…

I look into her eyes, I hope I’m not mistakin what’s what

That’ll be just my luck

Par for the course, like “Gaddamn, nigga, fuck.”

Lust and love…

I mix that shit up?

It blows up.

The game is corrupt.

Makes dating suck.

Like, what the fuck.

Oh, my god, what the fuck.

Did I do something in this life, last life, is this shit karma?

Is that why I’m dealing wit this drama?

All this shit karma?

I meet the girl, I treat the girl, she treat me like I caused her trauma?

Like holdin doors, givin her flowers, is harmin’ her?

I’m tryin to start a now, maybe later we can start a saga

DAMN IT

Try as I might, I can’t stop this pain

I even close my eyes looking for strength

Mind over mind, trying to force a change

Feeling empty, cold, alone, and late

Nothing is worth it, a wasteful weight

Music is a kiss, darkness is a blanket

Drinks and drugs to feel faded

Distractions from the depression laid in

I BLED IT

I speak vision, I don’t care if you don’t listen

These letters, I make em glisten

Master of the lines, guess I’m fishing

Speakin words, pushin blizzards

Something of a wizard

Speakin wit some scissors

Razor sharp wit the sentence

No longer wanting repentance

Acceptance of this penance

The writer, the actor, multiple roles in credits

 

lowercase

writin from the red hidden in the wrist, yes

be that depressed blessed

suicide wanna press

takin all the breath from the chest

just to stand up like the rest

just to walk like the best

blottin out lines, call life a bullshit test

wit the haema flex

latin wit the text that the world possess

feelin possessed

ever sence i suckled breasts

i’on’t know if that’s correct

this is finger movin, call it foreplay and sex

movin wit a different kinda speed some mistake for less

this the first, the last, the middle , precursor, and next

EMOTIONS

Sinkin in this feeling

Though, I wanna share my peelings

Life shuffling these cards and dealing

So, I’m dealing with the dealings

From floors to the ceilings

Pickin at my meals ands

Separation has got me keelin

But, I’m never over

Shruggin shoulders

Even when I’m lower

Clownin wit the floaters

Mind dirtier than all your boulders

Dappin past the “told yer’s”

Stainin on approach

Mind first-class, body coach

PUT ME IN COACH

S.H.I.T.

Sometimes, I think about my lies

Sometimes, I think about my crimes

Sometimes, I fantasize the moment I could die

Hell, I’ve even put it into rhyme

Hell, I’ve bled into these lines

Hell, I’ve felt alone and just cried

I mean, drinkin til I pass out

I mean, muzzlin my shouts

I mean, don’t even ask me how’s

Thinkin I was dead before you knew me

Thinkin there’s no saving, I’ve been too deep

Thinkin not even Death will accept me into its sleep

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