Momma…(or…Ay, ay, ay, ay)

Ay, Momma, I’m stuck in drama

The trauma dun made me dumber

This mind is steady in flutter

Flummoxin like a motherfucker

Dyin inside…

Chokin on the blood inside…

I guess that must be why

I’m failing when it comes to tryin

No more whining with the “why, why, why”s

The real is just the picture

The picture is just a fixture

I angle the fixture with liquor

Adding it to the scripture

Fleshing it out with pictures

Padding it, make it thicker

It’s a neverending cycle

And I’m sharing it in flickers

Tryin to fill in the fissures

Ay, momma, I ain’t feelin like a victor

WILL YOU?

You’ll remember me

When you reminisce within your dreams

When you hear your friends, your family, askin bout me

When it makes you wanna me scream

When you really, truly, do want me

You’ll remember me

SEE?

You’ll remember me

When I ink or bleed into the scene

It’s all the same thing

I’m shining wit a darker different bling

I’m twitching wit a different blink

Spastic wit a different think

I️ might be something never seen

I’m dark like dirt, melanin that neat

My skin is all I️ see, yet it’s bleedin all on me

So, I️ write within my see

Fuck yo seat, it’s all on g

UNDER

Under the influence of depression

I write with deep expression

Wit lead and pen, I’m flexin’

Gifted by trauma and stressin

I get my steps in

I’m lifted, I’m bangin within the moment

Know itI’m only drinkin, cuz I’m sinkin

And I’m metaphorically sinkin, cuz I’m stuck with all this thinkin

Plus, my balance has me blinkinSo, my crooked walkin?

Is cuz these thoughts, they stay knockin

And rockin, so I’m steady talkin

It gets me under fire and gives me the fire

It gets me higher

It’s the balance of a curse and a gift

It gives you rifts, it gives you lifts

Heart on my shoulder, bleedin my wrists

I ink this shit

GREED. CHICKEN. TREE.

I think we need greed, I think it balances out that need

I’m talkin bout pushin and pushin past when you bleed

It differs and shows difference when it comes to human breeds

It changes willingness to bleed

It changes how you wish to breathe

How and where you wish to breed

See, depending on need or greed you hittin on different speeds

Sometimes you swervin in the lanes, sometimes you hittin the fuckin trees

Distracted by the chicken in the street

That’s a metaphor, hope you get it, please

Learn from what you’ve seen

DAMN IT

Try as I might, I can’t stop this pain

I even close my eyes looking for strength

Mind over mind, trying to force a change

Feeling empty, cold, alone, and late

Nothing is worth it, a wasteful weight

Music is a kiss, darkness is a blanket

Drinks and drugs to feel faded

Distractions from the depression laid in

lowercase

writin from the red hidden in the wrist, yes

be that depressed blessed

suicide wanna press

takin all the breath from the chest

just to stand up like the rest

just to walk like the best

blottin out lines, call life a bullshit test

wit the haema flex

latin wit the text that the world possess

feelin possessed

ever sence i suckled breasts

i’on’t know if that’s correct

this is finger movin, call it foreplay and sex

movin wit a different kinda speed some mistake for less

this the first, the last, the middle , precursor, and next

ANNIHILATE. LUDICROUS. ILLITERATE.

Shaking, twisting, flexing

No time for resting

Wobbly from speech to texting

Destroying the self, I’m my own worst foe

All the weaknesses? I know

Living to annihilate the competition

A breakdown of composition is the mission

Rebuild in tension, never never testing

Sleeping wit eight lessons

Illiterate to warning signs

Like one is inclined to be blind

Yeah, that type

I know, right

Messages turn to piled messes

Messes turn to burning blessins

Blessins turn to anagrammed messages

A ludicrous cycle of reuse

Knowledge in the fool

Foolish with the truth

Madman floating in the blackened pool

SHE WON’T WITHER (or, HER RESOLVE)

Heard she lonely

Heard she hurtin, she lost all her homies

She tired of bein tired

Tired of bein wired, you wouldn’t understand her why’s

She exhausted

Achin from what life costed

She dryin out from tears

Funerals for elders, youngests, her peers

Grippin wit a hold on

No safety jacket, off her strength she float on

No fittin her shoes, it’s a tighter size

Wit gravel and blood inside

Her heart has formed a callous

From a daily practice of harsher balance